I have very few pictures of me posing with my great-grandparents, though I knew almost all of them. We have a lovely picture of my little sister on my great-grandpa Mortensen's lap that we all treasure. 

I've made the mistake of not wanting to bother my grandparents with taking a picture with my kids. I didn't want them to feel that they were a tourist attraction just for still being alive. Ridiculous, really.

I'm so glad I just went for it a few Sundays ago and took pictures of my kids with Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Paul.  

I think my kids will appreciate it, too.

Hello.

I've been sick all week. Why does stuff like this happen? ie you begin a new goal, one that is really good for you and then it gets messed up? I'd been exercising. I was feeling more energy than I had in years and despite hate, hate, hating exercise I have LOVED that. Even my brain feels more alive!

Anyway, so despite hating exercise I got out there in the chilly cold before dawn and did it. I was just a few minutes under my when-I'm-not-sick goal so I was pleased with that.

I've gone back to writing poetry. I am so happy with it and have been quite prolific. (If you have a desire to check it out, click here) It feels like I have a piece of my soul back. In fact, I have entered three of my poems for the Segullah poetry contest. I haven't submitted writing for a contest since I was in Jr. High and was published in the good ole Spanish Fork Press, so this is a big deal for me personally.

I have been laughing a lot lately. Foolishly, I don't do this much. I take myself waaaay too seriously and my abdominal muscles suffer for it, as does my mental health. Thankfully, Cam and I are quite caught up in the sitcom Big Bang Theory. It's nerd heaven and I get all the jokes! We've been catching up on past seasons. Then the other night we watched Arsenic and Old Lace with Cary Grant and we were rolling. Hil-AR-ious!

I talked Cameron into doing the whole Harry Potter event at the District on Thursday. Oh yeah! (speaking of nerd heaven...) We'll be dressing up and doing all the fun stuff there is to do and we're doing it together. That's what's really awesome for me. Cam and I started reading Harry Potter books together (out loud and in British accents HA!) during the second year of our marriage. It's really been a fun thing to share.

My two favorite days of the week are Thursday and Sunday. The mix up of school schedules on Friday and lack of structure on Saturday really irritate me, but Thursday...Thursday is my least busy run-around day and it's just close enough to the end of the week to be blissfully appealing. (Anyone hear me on that?)

Sunday, I am happy to say, has become such a joy to me because of my calling. I love serving in the Primary and even to have people relying on my to do my job so that they can do theirs. Serving has brought me a lot of joy.

Babies seem to be everywhere! So happy about the arrival of sweet little Chloe (see below) and happy to hear about other friends that are expecting. There is a small tinge of baby-hunger, but honestly, when I look at what I have with my kids, I am so happy with them. I love the age that they are all at. I love seeing their progress, what they're learning, how the way they interact with me and each other changes. They are such a blessing and I am so pleased with them.

Oh yeah...a spent a few days as a blond this week. It's part of a very long, not-so-gripping drama of messing with my own hair color and having to bleach out the mistakes and so forth. Currently, I'm back to my normal light/medium brown and as content as a...whatever thing is truly content. Probably nothing getting a few gray hairs. I wouldn't be content in that state.

I'll have to ramble about the kiddies later, but here's an idea of where I am. Thanks for reading, if you got this far, or even if you just read the first stanza, er, paragraph...

I love to scrapbook and so I'm always looking for ways to communicate what the photos on the layout aren't saying.
For me, personally, I haven't been 'journaling' my journey in life. I'm one day going to reach the destination of who I really am and I'm not going to remember squat about it.

Bryce currently has some fecal fascination and I can't keep the stuff off his hands. He won't tell me when he uses the toilet and how am I supposed to know? We're working through it. He'll look at me with those amazing big eyes and I sense that he's waiting to see if I explode or manage to stay in control and promise him a treat if he'll do better next time. He's crazy full of imagination right now. So alive and not out of control, but full of everything wonderful a toddler should be.

I know that God loves me because I have three wonderful kids that teach me daily that I am important to someone. Mothers definitely get their share-more than their share-of criticism. Half the fiction books out there have some mention of the wrongs the protagonist received at the hands of their mother. One day, my kids will be grown and they might sit around and discuss what a crummy job I did with this choice or that choice I made as a mother, but if their experience is anything like mine, they will also be able to love me just because I am me and they will somehow know that, despite it all, that I loved them with all my heart. That I broke it a thousand times for them. If I'm really blessed, they'll be able to see that they broke it, too, sometimes, so much so I didn't think I could go on with the next five minutes.

There is so much drama in little kid/parenting life.

Ella is so tender, but it sure seems like she's been working the emotional system lately. I cannot even give gentle correction without her eyes pooling with tears. It's frustrating, but it is making me more aware that her needs are different from two boys and that I can accomplish that without coddling.

Hang on- Bryce just earned a treat (see above mention of Bryce).

Dane is an amazing kid. He is very concerned for others, yet at the same time, he uses very selfish tactics. This polarizing way of living seem very appropriate for an eight year old. They do make sense. He can really help around the house like never before and I have seen him be fascinated by the things he sees me and Cam do and then I show him he can do them too and he gets excited. Yesterday I showed him how to use the electric can opener.

Ella's crying because Dane has teased her. I never know if it's a big deal or not. I finally understand why my mom said (when we came to her with over-the-top crying) "You'd better be bleeding!"

She's snuggled against my chest now. I have learned lately that she really just needs time and a hug. I try. She is so lovely. So affectionate and I do love how she looks us right in the eyes, still, and communicates her love to us. She is all that i wanted in a little girl. She is deliciously imperfect perfection.

It's time to have a place to record the little wonders in my life, especially when I get to have a two-way with God. I'm getting myself a journal that doesn't have to plug in.

Dane has been in a sour mood...since Monday.

School started and so did homework. His playtime is gone. He's bummed.

Tonight, he was complaining yet again (a la Disney's Robin Hood "My downs outnumber my ups.") about how his life is so hard and I told him to count his blessings.

I was putting both boys to bed and since I was waiting for Bryce to finish up in the bathroom and since I had my notebook in my hands, I sat down on his bed and we began a list of blessings.

It turned out to truly be an awesome lesson for him as he rattled off 53 blessings in just a few minutes.

"Wow. That's a lot of blessings in my life."

List includes:

• Being alive
• Clothes
• Food
• House to keep the rain off
• Umbrellas
• Good toys
• A loving family
• Baptism
• Living grandparents
• A good teacher at school
• Blankets
• Coats
• Jackets
• Parents that got married in the temple
• Dishes to eat off of
• Five senses
• Boats and airplanes for travel
• Light
• Night
• Running water
• Indoor toilet
• Belonging to the true church of Jesus Christ
• Primary teachers
• Board games
• Good books
• Stuffed animals that are special
• Submarines
• Knowing about giant squids
• Cameras, movies, video games, TVs, DVD players (were all the same number, 44 incidentally)
• Paper
• Air
• Plants
• The ability to grow
• Lips
• Good dreams

He went to bed with the sweetest smile on those lips he's been blessed with.

I feel so humble and at peace this morning.

I know part of the reason has to be that the special holiday season begins this Thursday. Although Thanksgiving is often overlooked in decorations, do we truly forget this holiday where we gather together surrounded and surrounding the bouty in our lives? Thanksgiving never ceases to bring gratitude for too warm kitchens, wonderful smells of amazing food, and body-packed homes (or restaurants or church cultural halls) with people I love. The kids are fresh-scrubbed and dressed decently. Adults care less about their mischief. I love Thanksgiving and I love the Thanksgiving prayer on the food.

More peace...

Many of you use the music application Pandora. Did you know you can also have an LDS/Inspirational station WITHOUT (audio) COMMERCIALS? http://www.pandora.com/ I found Kenneth Cope, Hilary Weeks, Jon Schmidt, Jenny Jorday Frogley, MoTab, Paul Cardall, etc. We've all been listening to it this morning and it's really been great! It lends itself to a very sweet Sunday morning.

My kids have been sick with icky coughs (mostly at night) and Bryce was in some kind of pain last night that made him weep (is he too young for growing pains?). The blessing of being able to take care of my kids, their physical ailments, humbles me.

What a blessing to be needed by someone so small. I love being a mother.

It's all I truly wanted to be when I 'grew up.' I'm far from the best mother and this, of course, keeps me very humble. Isn't this all part of the plan anyway? I'm really grateful to be part of Heavenly Father's plan. I know that He knows me. What better gift can I have?

(by the way, this last picture is of me and Dane CRASHED on the couch during my creation narcolepsy period aka pregnancy with Ella)

You know how it goes...laundry is the forgotten chore until someone asks you about this or that piece of clothing (usually the husband, how does he go through so much, so quickly?). There's food to prepare, beds to make, bathrooms to scrub and then oh! the laundry. I forgot I was going to do that today.
Today as I sifted through the varied sizes of t-shirts and jeans, lonely socks and new (yay) towels to fold and return to closets and chests of drawers I was given a good punch of gratitude in my heart for my piled-up laundry.
Gratitude because it means that we have enough clothes, are blessed with more than enough, that even though I don't keep up with this important chore, my kids are still dressed, warm and clean.
I'm so grateful to live in a prosperous nation and that my husband has a job.
Such an easily-forgotten blessing, clothing, but I was happy for the reminder today.